Silence Insecurities

I recently posted this picture on Instagram about dealing with insecurities and silencing the voices that give life to them. These are often what the negative voices in my head sound like:

• “Your forehead is TOO BIG”
• “Your nose is TOO BIG”
• “One eye opens wider than the other, THAT’S NOT CUTE.”
• “The dark circles under your eyes NEED to be covered up”
• “You’re not PRETTY ENOUGH, let alone beautiful.”

Unfortunately, these are only things on my face. I don’t think this post is long enough for me to go through everything head to toe. Though these voices come way more often than I’d like them to, there are also times I think “I’m gorgeous!” This statement rarely ever comes, but is often not followed by one of the above insecurity statements.  Lately, I’ve only felt “gorgeous” or “pretty” with make-up on. I had a period of breakouts, followed by hyperpigmentation that I “had” to cover up. My face was no longer the face I felt comfortable with last summer when I stopped wearing foundation. It was one now that created extra insecurities based on something I was desperately trying to control and reverse, that I couldn’t. Last night was the first time in the last 2 months that I went somewhere besides the bodega or laundromat without a full face of makeup on. I actually felt beautiful with just brows and mascara, not even a bit of highlight.  

If you’ve ever battled with insecurities, here are a few ways I’ve found to silence the negative voices in my head:

1. Combat them with words: For a period of time I kept hearing sermons on the power of our words, what we think, and what we say. One that I put into practice daily was a sermon by Christine Caine. In that sermon she spoke about getting on the wrong train of thought – that one thought can derail our day and take us somewhere we never intended to be. So now I’m more aware of where my thoughts are going and leading me.
   • Declare the opposite: Verbalize the opposite of what that voice says about you. Trust me, this little step helps. You may have to say it several times but it helps to quiet that voice each time. Saying it out loud is the strongest.
     • “My nose is not too big”
     • “My forehead is not too big”
     • “My eyes are beautiful”
     • “My dark circles don’t take away from my beauty”
     • “I AM BEAUTIFUL”
   • What does God say I am? As a Christian, I’ve also used what the Lord says about me to define my identity. Above all else that is who I really Am. I am His and I am made in His image. If you’re a Christian, see some of the countless verses that show God’s love in you!
     • Psalm 139: 14 – I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are your works, and that my soul knows very well
     • Ephesians 1:4 – For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight.
     • Psalm 46:5 – God is within her, she will not fall;
2. See yourself the way the world sees you: There’s a Dove commercial, You’re More Beautiful Than You Think You’re More Beautiful Than You Think. After I watched this it helped me realize that the way you see yourself isn’t how the world sees you. The flaws you see people rarely see. I’ve always been that person who points out my flaws before a person has a chance to notice. If there’s a stain on my clothes I’m the one pointing it out and explaining what happened. Most times I’m met with, “I would have never noticed that if you didn’t point it out.”
3. Stepping Outside of my Comfort Zone. This will definitely differ from person to person. However, here are some of my favorite ways to push past the insecurities:
   • Posting pictures outside of my comfort zone. Even if I think there are flaws in the picture. It helps me to see people aren’t seeing what I’m seeing. No one ever comments on the things I saw as “unattractive.”
   • Going out without makeup. Embracing the skin I’m in, “flaws” and all. This one has been hard as of late but forcing myself not to look “perfect” helps me to push past the insecurities.  
   • Wearing an outfit I normally wouldn’t wear. Whether I wouldn’t normally wear it to this function or period. I wear what I want now. Whether I want to be comfy cozy, which it has been lately, or super fierce. I wear what I want not thinking about what others may say.

With the combination of these sets of words and actions it helps me stay on the right train of thought. Helping me to focus less on the things I can’t change and more on the things I can, like my business. As a result I’m happier and my day goes a lot better.

And when all else fails; put on your favorite outfit, a great lip color and strut like you’re Grace Jones.

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